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Your Team Hates Your 1:1s. Here’s How to Fix That 🗓️
A foolproof, three-part framework that changes everything
Harvey Lee
March 02, 2025
"Harvey, a word please," my boss beckoned me into his office with the kind of facial expression that suggested I'd killed his cat.
I knew what was coming. The weekly 1:1 that I'd been running with my team had gone sideways. Really sideways.
One of my direct reports had gone over my head to complain that our catch-ups were, and I quote, "as useful as a chocolate teapot." Ouch.
In the cold light of day, sitting in front of my now clearly irritated boss, I had to admit she had a point. Our 1:1s had become rambling, unfocused affairs that often confused both parties more than when we started.
The meeting structure, if you could call it that, was basically "let's chat about stuff." As organized as a teenager's bedroom after a house party.
After getting (deservedly) hauled over the coals, I set about finding a better way. What I discovered transformed not just my 1:1s but my entire approach to management. Today, I'll share the framework that saved my bacon and might just save yours, too.
The Three-Part Meeting That Actually Works
Like any good rock concert needs a setlist, your 1:1s need structure. Here's the trilogy that changed everything for me:
The Look Back (⏮️ 10 mins)
Think of this as your greatest hits compilation. What worked? What didn't? It's your chance to:
Review last meeting's action items (the stuff you both promised to do)
Celebrate wins (even the small ones deserve their moment in the spotlight)
Address roadblocks (the thorny issues everyone's been avoiding)
The Look Present (🎯 30 mins)
This is your main set. The meat of the meeting where you:
Get crystal clear on current project status
Figure out what resources are needed
Check team dynamics (because sometimes people need to vent)
The Look Forward (⏭️ 20 mins)
Your encore. Where you set up the next performance:
Lock down next sprint priorities
Talk career development (because everyone needs a roadmap)
Agree specific actions for next week
But here's the kicker - knowing the structure is only half the battle. Like any good performance, it's the execution that matters.
The Power Moves That Make It Stick
The 24-Hour Rule
Send that agenda out a day before. No agenda? No meeting. It's that simple. Would you go to a gig without knowing who's playing? Exactly.
Real-Time Documentation
Document actions as they happen. Live. In a shared doc everyone can see. It's like recording a live album - capture the magic as it happens.
The Ownership Close
End every meeting with crystal clear ownership. Who's doing what by when? No ambiguity allowed. It's like assigning parts in a band - everyone needs to know their role.
The Hard Truth About Making It Work
Here's what I learned the hard way: structure creates freedom. It sounds counterintuitive, but it's true. When everyone knows the format, they can focus on the content.
Goals without tracking are just wishes. Like saying you want to be a rock star without ever picking up an instrument. Track everything.
And perhaps most importantly, consistency beats intensity. Better to have regular, focused 1:1s than occasional epic sessions that try to cover everything.
Key Actions You Can Take Today:
Audit your current 1:1s. Are they structured or just chat sessions?
Create a simple agenda template using the three-part structure
Start documenting actions in real-time
Set clear ownership for every action item
Review after a month - what's working, what isn't?
Remember, great 1:1s aren't born, they're made. Through practice, structure, and constant refinement.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go prepare for my own 1:1s.
These days, they're more 'Bohemian Rhapsody' than 'Wonderwall' - structured, purposeful, and occasionally even epic.
Keep on rockin! 🤘
Harvey.
